There are a million emotions swirling around while recovering from an abusive friendship or relationship. I thought that I was going to end my life over the loss of one of the closest interpersonal relationships I had. Not even a month after this, the closet friend I had ghosting me. Following the loss of this relationship, I had very few friends left, as I was made to isolate myself from them, which resulted in me not noticing glaring signs of manipulation and abuse.
While going through this heartbreak I was mad, suicidal, depressed, anxious and regretful. But one thing was clear. I never wanted anyone to ever feel how I did ever again, and I would do whatever I could to save anyone from going through the same pain that I did. As time went on, nothing seemed to get better and that’s when I realized one of the best ways I could help others, is by using my present experience. As both a way to move past the recent events and help others through the insight I’ve gained, I created The Light Quest.
The Light comes from one of my favorite love songs by Jarad Higgins, or better known as Juice Wrld. I know I know, a whole website based off of a song? Short answer, yes. Longer answer, yes because the music was one of the only reasons I am still alive. I had constant thoughts about ending my life, and participated in self harm, multiple times weekly for months. I threw away 4 months of self harm sobriety, but just feeling like someone else could understand me and could experience heartbreak and then find love, was enough reason to keep moving on. I always knew that I wanted to do something in honor of Jarads memory, and then I went through the lowest point of my life…so basically The Light was divine intervention…sorta.
If you take nothing else from me, please just stay here. Continue to move forward, take it day by day, as a person that has hit what felt like rock bottom and continues to struggle, take it from me you are loved more than you know. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but please hold on. You won’t feel like this forever. Please stay with us, there are so many more things that are left for you to experience, people for you to love and places to go. Do not rob the people that love you of having you in their life because of someone that didn’t deserve you.
Please stay here, I love you so much. – Zaydah
